A hunting we will go
by DC World
Summary: a one-shot inspired by Zack's line " I wish it was dork hunting Season" This also includes a line that Elianna22 thought I should share with the everyone.


**This one-shot was inspired but one of my favourite Zack lines, " I wish it was dork hunting season". It was also inspired by a recent conversation in one of lodylodylody's forums, about all the sexual innuendos that seem to pop up in episodes of our favourite Disney shows. **

" A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go. We'll catch a dork and poke him with a fork. And then we'll let him go." Zack amused himself with his silly remake of the popular children's song as he paced his room, thinking over his plans for his latest scheme. " A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go. We'll catch a nerd and flip him the bird. And then we'll let him go." As he paced he reasoned that his cabin really was not the ideal space to pace - it was far to small- but also concluded that he was to lazy to go find a more suitable place. " A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go. We'll catch my brother Cody and…" he paused. _What the hell rhymes with Cody? Lody……fody…..mody… _He shrugged his shoulders. " A then we'll let him go." Actually, now that he thought about it, making up this song was more entertaining then planning new evil-genius things to do. "A hunting we will go, A hunting we will go…" He stopped as he suddenly thought of a great idea.

Spinning around, he almost bumped into Woody. _Man, for a rather loud and large guy, he does have the uncanny ability to show up unexpected. " _Oh hey Woodchuck."

" Hey."

Zack put his arm around the bigger boy. " Grab your ammo and your camo, we're going hunting."

The look on Woody's face told Zack that he was moments away from making an inappropriate or stupid comment - most likely revolving around food. Zack braced himself for some eye rolling. " Oh, is it deer hunting season? I love deer hunting season. My Uncle Earl makes the best deer sausage ever."

Zack had to admit that was not as bad as he expected, even though he did still mention something edible. " No, it's not deer hunting season. We, my friend, are hunting a far more sophisticated animal."

" Is it the possum?"

Zack narrowed his eyes and glared at his friend. " Woody, London got into this school because her daddy owns the boat."

Woody nodded. " Uh-huh."

" What's your excuse?"

Woody frowned. " Huh?"

" Never mind, Woodster, never mind. No, we are not hunting deer or possum. We are going dork hunting."

" Dork hunting?"

Zack nodded." Yes dork hunting. Now normally I don't go dork hunting. That's because I am too busy women hunting." He frowned slightly before he continued. " But it seems this year that either the species is dying out or they have suddenly become aware of the fact that I am on the prowl. Either way, I really not getting that lucky this year. So I'm changing my game plan." He clapped his hands together. " Now, there are two trophy dorks on this boat. Can you name them Woodman?"

" Uh…Cody and Bailey?"

Zack pointed his finger at Woody and nodded. " Right. And where do lions usually go to stock their pray?"

Woody smiled and raised a finger in the air. " Actually, it's the lionesses that do all the hunting in a pride."

" Hey, I'm the brains behind this operation. Just answer the question."

Woody furrowed his brow. " Um…at the watering hole?"

" Exactly! To the Easy Squeezey"

" Zack, they're not here. " Woody moaned and he scanned the Sky Deck for their prey. " It's been over half an hour, perhaps we were wrong about the watering hole. Maybe they went to their mating grounds instead."

Zack screwed up his face at the unwanted image that popped up in his mind. Shaking his head in an attempt to rid it of dirty thoughts, he patted Woody on the back. "Woody, I have it on great authority that dorks don't mate. And if they do, it's a rare occasion. Now relax, my young padawan learner, they will…..hey focus."

Woody had turned away from Zack and was now staring at a blonde who had just walked by on her way to the hot tub. " I thought you said that women hunting Season was slow this year. Obviously, whoever your source is, they're unreliable."

" I didn't say it was slow. I said I wasn't having much luck. There is a big difference between the two." Zack glance over at the girl and sighed. She was way out of his league. But that never stopped him before. A smirk formed on his lips and he took a step towards her. But it appeared that Woody was one step ahead of him.

Zack shook his head as he overheard Woody's attempt to pick her up. " Hey there, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

The girl laughed. " Wow, you can't even come up with an original pick line. That's lame." She patted him pathetically on the shoulder. " And, by the way, you have corn chips in your hair."

Woody automatically reached up to his hair, pulled out a corn chip and ate it. The girl gave him a disgusted look. " Okay, well how's this for original? See me after the Mexican buffet, because I am going to blow you away." He gave her a wink.

" You are so gross." She turned to walk away, leaving Woody all alone.

Zack busted into laughter as he walked over to confront his friend. " Plywood, it looks like you're not getting nailed tonight."

Woody scowled. " This sucks." He paused as his stomach growled. " And all this rejection and disappointment is making me hungry."

" You're always hungry," Zack pointed out.

" Yeah, but I also always get rejected. And I often end up disappointed."

" Good point."

Woody suddenly started to sniff the air. " Hey, do you smell that?"

Zack scrunched up his nose. " Oh man, did you fart again?"

" No. It smells like," he sniffed some more, " burritos"

" Yeah, actually it does."

" Look," Woody suddenly pointed to a table in the middle of the Sky Deck that had a plate of burritos and a bowl of jelly beans on it . " I think I've died and gone to heaven."

He started to head towards the table, but Zack stopped him. " Hold up. Doesn't it strike you as odd that there is a table in the middle of nowhere that happens to have your favourite food and my favourite snack on it?"

Woody shook his head. " Nope."

Zack shrugged his shoulder, but kept following him. He had an odd feeling about this. It all seemed vaguely familiar- if only he could remember why.

The moment Woody picked up the plate of burritos Zack remembered why. A bucket of water fell from the deck above and soaked him from head to toe causing Zack to burst into laughter.

To both Woody and Zack's surprise and dismay, moments later Cody and Bailey emerged from behind the Easy Squeezey counter. " And that, my little hay bale-" Bailey giggled at Cody's use of her nickname, causing him to smirk. He found her laugh rather amusing, and oddly attractive. " - is how you go idiot hunting."

**I had a ton of fun writing this and I hope you get as much amusement out of it as I did. **


End file.
